On my page yesterday I posted: “Apparently if I wanted to understand the internet today, I should have watched the VMA’s last night.” I swear every other FB post or yahoo article or tweet or even the Huffington Post was all ‘miley’ all the time. I couldn’t get away from it. I haven’t watched the VMA’s in years, probably not since MTV was actually showing videos. And, no, this doesn’t make me old, this makes me someone who values their time. But, my friend Megan commented on my post saying “I will raise my daughter to be the opposite of Miley Cyrus” and that got me thinking. Thanks for the inspiration MEG.
How do we make sure our daughters don’t end up like Miley?
How do we avoid them dry humping a foam finger in front of the whole world? (And, apparently dressed like a teddy bear???? I’m still piecing all of this together.)
The answer came to me almost immediately after the question. If we want to make sure our daughters don’t end up like Miley, we need to stop giving 2-shits about Miley! We need to stop concerning ourselves with her. And, I don’t mean to pick on Miley. For all I care you can throw them all in together: Kim Kardashian, Brittney Spears, Amanda Bynes, etc. They are all the same. And, by the same I mean moderately talented, over exposed, unimpressive in accomplishment, and lousy role-models for our girls. I don’t want to be mean…no talent ass-clowns…. They might be nice in real life. They might be decent human beings. But they are certainly not who I want my daughter to look up to. In fact, I don’t want my daughter to concern herself with them at all.
How do we make this happen?
Stop watching TMZ. Stop reading fricking US magazine. Stop watching reality television that is detrimental to society. Stop getting pleasure from gossip and train wrecks and celebrity non-sense. Stop promoting the idea that someone who is famous is any more special than you. Stop making stupid people famous for doing nothing.
Don’t waste time deciding whether Kanye and Kim’s baby name is stupid (of course it is).
Don’t waste your breathe on whether or not Lindsay Lohan has gained weight since rehab (that’s what happens when you eat food instead of heroin).
‘Celebrity’ is a business and we are throwing our money at it. What a waste of our time and money and attention. You like celebrities? You like Hollywood? Great! Eva Longoria, Matt Damon, George Clooney, and Ellen Degeneres are doing great things for a lot of people. Follow their stories.
But that is only part 1. There is a whole other side to making sure your daughter doesn’t buy into the cluster-f*@! that we call celebrity news. So what is the second part?
Set a good example. Simple right?
-Turn off the TV and read a book. And, actually read a good book. One that is well written, one that stimulates your mind, one that is written by a woman. It doesn’t all have to be 19th century classics of course, and it all doesn’t need to be women, but it can’t all be Twilight and 50 shades.
-Don’t judge her on her appearance- even if she IS gorgeous. It’s nice to be told you’re pretty, but it’s amazing to hear you’re smart and you’re strong and you’re healthy and you’re funny and you’re talented.
-Don’t judge yourself on your appearance. Don’t you dare call yourself fat or old or ugly in front of your daughter. Don’t you dare put yourself down while you are out shopping with her. Don’t you dare wish you were thinner, taller, younger…. She will pick up on that in a heart beat no matter what you are saying to her about her own appearance.
-Give her positive role models. This is tough because right now our society doesn’t value and recognize women for their accomplishments. But you can. Expose her to women scientists, judges, politicians, writers, artists, and business women. Expose her to women that are happy, and kind, and generous, and loving, and funny.
-Teach her that to be ‘valued’ she doesn’t need to bring down another woman’s ‘value’. Building yourself up by tearing down others will destroy your soul. The best leaders, the best role models, the best human beings, create win-win solutions for everyone.
-Preach kindness as the most important thing. Period. Beauty doesn’t bring peace. Brains don’t bring peace. Money doesn’t bring peace. Kindness does.
Our ‘society’ won’t change until we do. And, we NEED to change for our daughters (and sons of course).
If we stop buying, they will have to find something else to sell.